Yin Yang
by Serene Siren
Summary: They were always together. Like Yin and Yang. Both so different. One light, one dark. Yet they were forever by each other’s side. An exploration of Sirius and James' relationship. Also LJ
1. Lily Muses

**Chapter One**

Lily Muses

He was a gorgeous boy. He barely knew it. Girls gaped at him openly but really he only had eyes for his friends. Especially The Friend. James.

James was his savior, his life.

She could not believe how no one else saw what she could see.

There was a certain protocol to male adolescent interaction, especially when it came to touching. The two of them seemed completely oblivious to these rules. Touching was okay. In fact, they did it frequently. An arm casually thrown around the other's shoulders. Foreheads leaning up against each other in thought. A hand brushed fleetingly across the other's neck in class. They were both popular and cool enough that no one would ever think anything of it or at least say anything about it. They did no wrong. If that was what they did than it was automatically cool. No one else could have gotten away with it. Perhaps it was because they seemed almost like an entity. They were always together. Like Yin and Yang. Both so different. One light, one dark. Yet they were forever by each other's side.

It baffled her.

They should have been enemies, they were so unlike each other. One the prototypical "popular" boy: good family, athletic, charming, and wholesome. The other, the "bad boy": a dark disposition, wry sense of humor, bored sullenness, delinquency. And yet they clicked. Complemented one another. There was no doubt that they each loved the other. It was just a question of how.

What gave Sirius away the most was his absolute lack of interest in girls. Girls positively fawned over him, threw themselves at him. He could have had his pick from any girl in the school. And yet, he didn't. Most of the school population chalked it up to him being "too cool": most girls just weren't in his league so he didn't bother. Others believed that it was his blood: he would not accept any girl but the most pureblooded. Anyone who knew him knew that this was utter garbage. A few others simply thought he was just too much of a gentleman to yield to such behavior. Again, more garbage. He simply wasn't interested.

James, on the other hand, was a serial dater. He'd gone through most of the girls in his year because, unlike Sirius, he accepted girls' offers. He was a perfect gentleman about it: opening doors, bringing flowers, a small peck on the lips afterwards. Girls loved his kisses.

There was no doubt that James was as straight as straight could be.

Then a rumor got around that Adrienne Meadowes had slept with Sirius over the Christmas holiday. Though his stomach would turn oddly whenever he heard about it, Sirius allowed the rumor to flourish. He did not think it would hurt his reputation. If anything, it helped it.

It became known that if you wanted a romantic, candle-lit dinner and flowers you were to go to James. If you favored an amazing shagging session then Sirius was your man.

How incredibly misinformed the masses were, she thought.

_Thanks for reading. I would love to know what you think. Review, please?_


	2. Staring

**Chapter Two**

Staring

She was an odd girl.

She stared at him a lot. Then again, a lot of girls did. But a stare from Lily Evans was more of the keen, penetrating variety, not the googly-eyed sort that he was used to. He would be dozing off in History of Magic when he would feel her eyes on him from behind.

It was disconcerting. He was tempted to ask her why she did it sometimes.He could just picture the discussion:

"_Hey, Evans, what's up with the staring?"_

"_Hey, Black, what's up with your ego?"_ Then she would flash him that wicked smile of hers, toss her gorgeous, red hair and leave. Lily Evans was definitely not like other girls.

She had a way of making Sirius uncomfortable.

James liked her; Sirius could tell. James would absolutely never admit it though. Whenever she was anywhere near them, James' shoulders would tense up and he would begin stuttering, his left hand going straight up to grip his already messy hair. Sirius asked him about it once. James had just made a face and said "What, Evans? Ha! Never." Lily Evans was the only girl who'd ever dared to talk back to James. James Potter did not like to be contradicted. Especially by a girl.

She was doing it again. He could feel her eyes on him and a quick glance backwards confirmed it. She was just calmly gazing at him, not even disturbed by the moment of eye contact that was shared. Sirius turned back to his parchment, flustered. Did she not realize it was rude to stare? Sirius could not explain why she had this effect on him. Somehow it just seemed that she had the upper-hand in something. In some sort of an invisible game between them. _Well_, Sirius decided, _if she's playing a game, I'm playing back_. He put down his quill, took a deep breath, and turned back around to meet her eyes. Sure enough, they were still on him. She did not seem surprised at suddenly being engaged in a spontaneous staring match. On the contrary, her mouth looked like it was just on the edge of a smirk. She stared right back at him, quite unfazed by the sudden attention he was paying to her. For a few moments the world had disappeared and it was just him and her. And their eyes. She had green eyes. A very penetrating sort of green. Sirius hated green. He was jerked out of the staring match with an elbow to his ribs. Peter was nudging him. He had started a game of hang-man on the edge of his parchment. Sirius re-directed his attention to Peter's game, not allowing his gaze to return to Lily Evans for the rest of the period.

She sat next to him in the Common Room that night. He had been blankly fixated by the fire, waiting for James to return from a detention, when he sensed her approaching him. In his peripheral vision he could see the red of her hair. She took a seat next to him and, without even looking, he could tell that she had begun staring at him again. It was the first time she'd ever done it outside of class. He took a breath and turned to her.

Without preamble, he blurted, "Why do you do it?"

She gazed back in that serene way of hers. In that moment he could appreciate what James saw in her. She was really pretty with the light of the fire flickering off of her face. But besides that she just carried herself a certain way... very composed and elegant, almost majestic. Her self-confidence did nothing to boost Sirius' own. It just made him wary.

"What?" she answered simply. It wasn't a question; she knew perfectly well _what_. Goddamn Lily Evans and her games!

"You know... look at me. In class."

She leaned back in her chair, completely calm, and pretended to swoon. "You're gorgeous, Black!" That perpetual smirk! "I simply can't keep my eyes off of you. You're an aesthetic masterpiece, candy for my eyes–" Then suddenly she stopped and changed tack immediately. "Why, does it bother you?"

His eyes widened a bit. Not only was she not even bothering to deny it but she actually seemed to be enjoying this. "Uh, no."

"Then, what's the big deal? I mean, lots of girls stare at you, Black. I'm not the only one..." she trailed off. She gave him a smile. Very innocent-like. She was teasing him and it was pissing him off.

"It's not a big deal, Evans! That's not what I meant. I was just wondering why _you_ did it."

"Why, am I special?" Again with smile! He didn't know whether to hex her or...

"No." But it was a lie. There was something special about this girl.

She got up from her chair and sat in front of him, leaning in close. Almost eye to eye. Really staring at him. It wasn't the same, intense stare she gave him in class. This was a kinder, more compassionate stare, as though she were about to confide something important to him.

"You fascinate me and I don't even really know why," she whispered. He blinked. Was she having him on? No. She looked sincere and he could detect a hint of confusion in her eyes. She stood up and declared. "I'm trying to figure you out, Black. That's why I stare at you. There's something about you..." She shook her head, tilting it to the side and gazed at him. As though he were a complicated puzzle she was hoping to solve. It frightened him but thrilled him simultaneously. What was she hoping to figure out? What was there to see? He didn't know what it was but he knew for sure that he did not want Lily Evans knowing about it. She was too smart for her own good. She was an odd girl and she scared him.

That night in bed, listening to Peter's snores, he realized why she scared him. Those eyes of hers. Evans could actually _see_. It was an odd sort of epiphany to have; it just seemed so obvious but it _was_ important. Lily Evans could _see_. Not just the aristocratic facial structure, perfect hair, or swoon-worthy eyes; she saw him as he was.

He was terrified out of his mind.

_Thanks for reading. I'd really like to thank all of my reviewers from the last chapter (and __EmO-pEaNuT-bUtTeR-cUp__ for being my first reviewer)._ _You guys are amazing and made me squee when I opened my inbox. I really wasn't expecting that many reviews. Thanks a lot._

_Please let me know what you think of this chapter! _


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